My relationship with running is on-and-off. Toxic. Addicting. A dwindling high, but not a mercurial one. Sometimes, I love it and the feelings it gives me. But half of the time, I just don’t.

Maybe it was because I still remember the smell of yesterday. Like on tennis courts where the scorching rays of the sun were burning through my bare skin. I remember taking laps in the court when I’m around the age of eight, and the conflicting feelings it gave me. I loved running in the streets, and playing Patintero and Agawan Base with kids I don’t remember now.

But the training I was put through made me wonder if that was entirely needed or if was it punishment. “Was I really supposed to run under the heat of noon?”

There were plenty of questions I wanted to ask but I couldn’t, simply because as a kid in an Asian household, you weren’t supposed to raise concerns or air your grievances.

My envy wasn’t with the people who triumphed; it was for those who tried. I was hanging out with the wrong people, being called a wannabe when you’re simply aspirational.

In high school, I was always a substitute player for Men’s Volleyball and Track and Field. Constantly moving, sprinting, speeding. Running 100-meters is a piece of cake, even if I was a kid struggling with asthma. There’s something about running and the world slowing down that made me enjoy every bit of it.

But life took a different turn. Aside from the rollercoaster of emotions throughout the years, all the running I did was rushing when I’m late, wearing heeled leather boots and dress shoes as I carry my briefcases and luggage I need for my deadlines.

Not to mention my neighborhood and the nonexistent urban planning of my city that makes it difficult to run safely lest you get hit by inconsiderate vehicles.

Maybe these were just excuses. For years, I just look at people standing at the podium, holding their medals. But my envy wasn’t with the people who triumphed; it was with those who tried. I was hanging out with the wrong people, being called a wannabe when you’re simply aspirational. With all honesty, I was a wishful runner. I wanted to run, but I couldn’t.

2022 was a game-changing year for me. Two years ago, I was in a near-death experience where my life started flashing before me after having literally no air to breathe. Yes, it was the dreaded ‘Rona. That slight peek at the Otherside gave me the courage to pursue all the things I’ve always wanted. I pursued them relentlessly, no holds barred. One by one — running included.

In May, I got my hands on the JBL Endurance RACE when it finally arrived in the Philippines. It was the moment when I felt a tugging in my chest. My heart was excited at the idea of a running companion to stick with me. At that time, all the running I could do was on the treadmill, alternating between the Galaxy Buds2 and the Galaxy Buds Live depending on the intensity.

It seemed the stars aligned when GadgetMatch was also invited to partake in adidas’s Run for the Oceans after I received the pair of wireless earbuds. Together with my team, we accumulated a total of 80kms. The sight of almost victory made me want to run more. I was delighted with the fact that I was running towards something, instead of running away.

Years ago, I wouldn’t even consider looking forward and having plans for the future. I just want to survive and get away from it all. All the growth I experienced in almost half a decade changed my perspective on running. It also brought me people who served as my guiding lights when navigating an unknown path.

Life did me wrong, but I got through it all and came out better and stronger.

A month in and I’ve grown accustomed to the Endurance RACE. What seemed like a pair of wireless earbuds for running became a companion for my growth and training. In between my athletic endeavors such as Muay Thai, lifting weights, and running — the pair of wireless earbuds have been with me every step of the way.

The way it was designed, I knew it was made for comfort and durability. And for someone who’s a wishful runner, I rejoiced in how it fits my ears snugly even when I was running at 12mph on the treadmill. The only time it started loosening up in my ears was when I get sweaty from running consistently for more than ten minutes.

But throughout all my activities, the Endurance RACE helped me train gracefully, and even helped me discover myself and explore my love for running.

When I started running this year, I was re-learning my love for the activity. But in almost two months I was living with the JBL Endurance RACE, I’ve grasped what I really love about running. First, it’s sweat and the endorphins that keep my emotions in check. I feel alive and ready to take on the day.

Next, it’s the better headspace. My thoughts are cleared. That, or I get to sort the information I’m processing and come to a better solution or conclusion. It gives me the ability to focus and concentrate on the problem ahead.

Last, it’s the ability to tune out the world with music and the feeling of everything slowing down. With its ambient noise cancellation, I lose myself in my workout remixes of ‘Break My Heart’, ‘Ready for It?’, and ‘Dear Future Husband’.

It doesn’t fully filter the background noise, but I’m completely fine with it since we all need to be alert and aware of our surroundings when we’re exercising both indoors and outdoors.

When running on the road, I can simply turn off the noise cancellation with a press on the left earbud so I can hear the environment. It’s particularly helpful when you don’t notice the vehicles approaching. If someone approaches me, I can activate the TalkThru setting so I can have a decent conversation without removing my earbuds.

I’m no audiophile, so I couldn’t make a comment about the technicalities of the listening experience. I get to enjoy the music and the sound it produced wasn’t even bad, to begin with. I’m honestly okay with that. But if you want to dive deep into fine-tuning your audio experience, there’s an app that’s compatible with both iOS and Android.

When I spoke with the reps of JBL Philippines months ago, they mentioned how they considered ease of usage when they revamped the user interface and user experience, along with Generation Z’s preference to tinker around.

It’s safe to say that even I, a millennial and a self-confessed airhead, can easily understand how to customize the sound parameters. There’s an equalizer with different presets for you to choose from. Jazz, Vocal, Bass, Club, and Studio. You can even make your personal equalizer settings.

Finding the settings that work for you help when you’re getting into running. The sound you enjoy can help you build through the habit until you learn to love every bit of running. Sweat, shin splints, sore legs, and all.

Gestures are all easy to learn, and adjustable. It’s quite easy to learn and remember so you don’t have to keep using your phone when changing your music playback or navigating phone calls. And more importantly, it takes me a week before I charge the pair of wireless earbuds on its chunky case. After all, I only use the device during my athletic activities.

I guess the ease of use in my experience with the JBL Endurance RACE made me focus on enjoying running as much as I can. I’m at a stage where I don’t dread running anymore, and I look forward to finally having the courage to take on a race.

To date, I still can’t call myself a runner. I’m still a person who runs, trying to clock in the distance he always wanted. For now, I’m only trying my best to love running because I know I still haven’t fully embraced it.

Maybe after a few months of learning and unlearning, of sprinting more and forcing myself through inclines, I’ll learn to put all of my heart into it.

Somehow, I can just rejoice in the way the world slows down while I speed through. What I could probably guess is I’m on the right track and the stars are still aligning. After replacing my running sneakers, I got invited by friends to participate in an upcoming race. It’s tougher than the races I’ve been considering. Guess what? I’m excited.

I’m not sure if I’d get to find my way through the podium, or at least complete the race. I don’t know if life will get in the way again, and if it does, I don’t know if I could keep on running towards victory.

But on the occasion that it doesn’t, I’ll put my best foot forward in completing the race, finally call myself a runner, and celebrate the moment with pride. Here’s to hoping I get to do it.

So, if you spot another wishful runner trying their best in little ways, cheer them on. Running towards something is more difficult than running away. It’s tough out here, but it’s already rewarding.