Dating

He’s not busy, he’s just not that into you

The truth is a hard pill to swallow

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It’s been more than a month since I started self-isolating. I found myself wallowing, sprawling while the uncertainty creeps deep within. It’s a constant battle, deciding whether I’ll do something to pass time, or just tend to myself and do a little bit of self-care.

The pandemic hovering over our heads somehow slapped us with realizations. We were forced to do some retrospection, particularly in our relationships.

In this quandary, people have started reconnecting with the people that matter — friends, family, significant other, crushes, exes (really?), and persons close to their hearts — and to someone I deeply adore, I happen to not be part of it.

One slice of pizza, one slice of warmth

Three weeks ago, I started to move on from another almost relationship. I asked myself, “Was there even an us to begin with?” I scroll back to the messages I bravely sent over Instagram which was left unread, perhaps deleted, and I pondered: Why didn’t I step away the moment I sensed some red flags?

Maybe because I still cherish the last date where we shared a delectable pepperoni pizza, along with a mouthwatering bacon and cheese pasta. Perhaps, it was that instantaneous connection, where we just clicked and bonded over similar interests. That fiery spark you suddenly feel. Or was it the conversation that dragged on for over four months? With every message and checking up that made me feel special. And loved. That’s probably it. Loved.

After all, we’re humans and we just want to feel loved. To be caressed, nurtured, taken cared of. In between the delusions, I might’ve purposely disregarded the mixed signals. “He’s into me,” I told myself repeatedly just like Gigi from that heart-wrenching movie He’s Just Not That Into You.

“If the person you like certainly likes you, he or she will make an effort”

Maybe it wasn’t heart-wrenching to some, but for people (like me) who struggled with unreturned phone calls, and dealt with stringing along and indecisiveness from the person in question, that film felt like a nail gun to my chest. Just like in the movie, I saw myself in those Baltimorean women struggling with reading someone’s romantic interest.

Like a puppy asking for a bite

I looked back in my conversation with this person I deeply adore, sneaking away to take another glance at his Instagram profile. With the technology we have, how hard is it to communicate? Then it hit me: That dating advice Gigi received still rings true up to this day. Who would’ve known that ten years later, that advice will still be an absolute truth?

If the person you like certainly likes you, he or she will make an effort — not sending you breadcrumbs as if you were a puppy desperate to get a bite of tiny leftovers.

“If they don’t want to call you, they won’t.”

I wish I had realized this sooner and didn’t let myself be blinded by non-committal offers. He was vague, inconsistent, and kept on sending mixed signals. That should’ve been the sign that it’s not going anywhere. Katy Perry, through her song “Hot and Cold”, perfectly encapsulated the way this person behaved, and I let his erratic actions trample all over me just because I thought he was really into me.

It’s not what you deserve

What confused me back then was the intense interest he showed. I kept asking myself, “does he really like me?” It’s as if he was purposefully leading me on. I learned this the hard way.

Despite all the butterflies, I regret wasting my time falling head over heels with this person. Some part of me wished I didn’t entertain and didn’t believe that it was what I deserved. I guess at that moment, I ascertained my worth. That urged me to put more value on myself.

In front of the mirror, I glare with strength and poise, “I’ll never settle to anything less.” Somehow, having a mantra to chant every morning made me feel stronger. Gladly, this came in a situation where I can be alone to process everything without distraction. Perhaps, a silver lining in the catastrophe that China caused.

Glued to smartphones, but no communication

But just like any other person, I wasn’t able to move forward instantly. There were moments of doubt, a barrage of emotions waiting to be dealt with, bouts of insanity, and giving and making excuses. He’s probably busy; he’s having difficulty coping with this pandemic; or perhaps, he’s doing a digital detox since I do it regularly, too.

The only difference is I know how to respond — with an unwavering interest — to people that I truly like and people close to my heart. It hit me: If they don’t want to call you, they won’t. Because that’s how I do it, too.

“You’ll always take some time to reach out to that person you like.”

Our lives are now on phones and laptops, and it’s pretty difficult to grasp the truth that we aren’t worth responding to. I know, I know. Reading this might make you think this is a precedent to a clingy and toxic behavior. I’m telling you, it’s not. My life (and my job) had me glued to my gadgets, with communication being second-nature, especially in this remote working setup we all find ourselves in.

It’s easy to have unread messages when a lot is going on because I happen to have that exact situation. People are left on my inbox, notifications are hardly checked — immediately swiping it out of your screen promising to check it later (but of course you’ll forget about it).

You are the antidote to your poison

Knowing the reality of a busy life can make you gloss their inconsistencies over, pushing yourself to believe that they have a lot on their plates. You’ll keep making yourself believe they haven’t had the time. When that moment happens, that’s the time you need to suck that poison out of your life. Stop giving yourself false hopes. You are your antidote, and only you can save your life.

Here’s some truth pill that may be hard to swallow: It’s not that difficult to send one message to keep the connection alive. You’ll always take some time to reach out to that person you like. It might not be right away, but you’ll always make an effort to show you care.

At least, that’s what I would do. I know for a fact that I will express my interest the way I want to receive it, too. If s/he still doesn’t, even after giving him or her numerous chances, dear, it’s time to walk away.

You deserve someone who won’t make you guess whether s/he’s into you.


Love in the 21st century is a series of essays and anecdotes tackling modern love, relationships, and dating in the age where technology is at the forefront, playing a key role in connecting two hearts, even from a distance.

Dating

The sex toy every sophisticated woman should own

Womanizer Premium 2 is such a luxurious stimulator!

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The following is intended for readers 18+

If you’ve been in the sex toy world for a while, you’ve probably heard about the revolutionary Womanizer.

This face massager-looking device is now considered a cult fave, and lots of women are raving about it. Others are even claiming it made them reach the big-O in just two minutes. Intriguing, right?

So what exactly is the hype about?

Womanizer is the first-ever toy to introduce the Pleasure Air ™ technology. Unlike normal vibrators, the Womanizer aims to give pleasure without having direct contact with the skin. In this case, the clitoris.

The Womanizer uses air pressure to “massage” the clit, so it’s gentle yet very effective. This technology is wildly popular that there are lots of knockoffs in the market, which is why it is patented.

If you scroll through Womanizer’s catalogue, there are plenty of options depending on your budget. I was both excited and intrigued when looking at the choices. There’s just a lot to consider.

When I finally got to try the Womanizer Premium 2, their newest luxury clit stimulator, all I can say is this: I am now a believer. This beauty is worth the internet’s hysterical worship!

C marks the spot

Here’s a hot take for men: the reason why your girl is probably not enjoying it, is you go straight to penetration without taking much time in the clit. I can’t stress this enough: the C-Spot is just as important as the G-Spot.

Stimulating the clitoris alone can lead to multiple orgasms without the need for penetration. And the Womanizer Premium 2 proved this for me numerous times — sometimes even in just one sesh!

It’s like oral sex, but better

Thanks to Womanizer Premium’s 12 intensity levels, I have the option to go slow and gentle, and then switch to powerful and intense mode. The control buttons are easy to navigate, I can feel all the sensations without having to move much.

The product also features an AutoPilot ™ mode where I just sit back and enjoy the different stimulations and intensity levels. Yes, you can let this thing take the lead! I use this feature whenever I’m feeling adventurous, or when I’m extra lazy to control the buttons.

Safe, healthy, and without hassle

The Womanizer Premium 2, like any product in the Womanizer catalogue, is made of hypoallergenic silicone. It feels smooth and velvety, and the quality is true to its name.

I appreciate that the design is subtle yet straightforward. It is not intimidating at first glance; unlike some sex toys I’ve seen in the past.

The no-touch orgasm is a life-changing innovation, the product doesn’t rub on the skin to achieve pleasure. Suffice to say that it promotes safe and healthy stimulation without being harsh down there.

It is waterproof, so cleaning is not a hassle. You can even use it in the shower.

The package also comes with an extra stimulation head on a different size, to which I learned that the medium one is a better fit for me.

Making me-time much sexier 

I strongly believe that self-pleasure is a form of self-love. Gifting yourself the Womanizer is actually like treating yourself to a luxurious spa at a 5-star hotel. Pair it with your favorite bed sheet and room scent for a full cozy experience.

If you don’t live alone, the Smart Silence technology is your best friend. Although it’s not silent enough for super quiet spaces. Better turn on your aircon or e-fan while doing the deed to ensure subtle background noise.

Aside from the various intensity levels, you can also explore different positions using the Womanizer. Tip: there are a lot of ideas on the Womanizer Instagram page!

For those with partners, this thing can also spice things up in the bedroom. Just let your partner control the buttons and you’re all set.

Is this your PlayMatch?

I guess the biggest downside of the Womanizer Premium 2, at least for me, is the price. There are other cheaper alternatives in the market, although I can say it’s worth the investment. If I only have the luxury to gift this to all my girl friends, I would. It’s an experience that deserves to be shared.

If you’re planning on investing in your sexual wellness, Womanizer Premium 2 should be on top of your list. It is currently on Valentine’s Day sale, from US$ 199.00 to US$ 189.05.

There are plenty of options on the Womanizer website, in case you’re still expanding your options.  You can also check out the We-Vibe Melt, a cheaper alternative that is quite similar in terms of target pleasure.

Shop the Womanizer Premium 2 on Womanizer’s website or through local shop Lauvette.

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Dating

Tinder is getting a Blind Date feature

Find a date before Valentine’s Day

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Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. If you don’t have a date yet, you can still turn to dating apps to find a special someone before Monday’s festivities. Right on time, Tinder introduced a new Blind Date feature to complement its growing slate of capabilities for would-be daters.

In today’s digital world, it’s almost impossible to go on a truly blind date. After a quick Google, you’ll know practically everything about a new date even before you meet them. However, dating apps are doing their best to maintain a sense of anonymity before new matches voluntarily share that information themselves. Traditionally, profiles only share someone’s first name, age, a short bio, and a few photos.

Tinder wants to change this even further with the new Blind Date feature. Instead of the usual swiping way to match up, users who opt into the feature will be paired with others based on common interests.

However, automatic matches won’t see each other’s photos yet. Instead, they’ll play short games and answer quirky prompts like “I put ketchup on _____.” If both parties like the other’s answers, they’ll get matched and finally see each other’s photos. If not, the feature will try again with another pairing.

The new feature is under Tinder’s Explore tab. Users in the United States already have the feature available. Meanwhile, global users will get Blind Dates “in the coming weeks.”

SEE ALSO: Facebook Dating now has audio calls for daters

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Dating

Toblerone’s Valentine’s Day packs lets you send personalized video greetings

The power of QR codes!

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Forget flowers and cute stuffed animals for Valentine’s Day, Toblerone has just unveiled its sweetest gift for the revered fete.

The Limited Edition Toblerone Valentine’s Day Pack might be the most thoughtful gift you can give this love month. Or your most romantic gesture yet.

Drawing inspiration from failed gift-giving situations, Toblerone showcased the limited edition pack along with a film that encapsulates funny reactions from receiving a gift that fell short.

 

To make it more special, the Toblerone Valentine’s Day packs come with a blank pack feature for you to write your personalized greeting.

Underneath, you can find a QR code function for you to record a video message. Just tear the right side of the blank pack panel, scan the QR code that’ll lead you to Toblerone Chatbot, then upload your video message.

Don’t forget to write the unique code on the blank pack before gifting your Toblerone Valentine’s Day Pack to your loved one. Upon receiving, they can scan the same QR code and preview your personalized video message.

The Limited Edition Toblerone Valentine’s Day packs are available in the nearest leading supermarket and convenience
stores. Prices are as follow: 100g (Php 109), 200g (Php 218), and 360g (Php 393).

To know more, like Toblerone on Facebook and follow @toblerone_ph on Twitter and Instagram.

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